I skipped work to stalk him.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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