I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
