I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize