im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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