Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
