5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
