her vagine was all disorganized.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
