I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
All I want is dick and wine.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
