It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
