Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
