I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize