He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We are all done wearing pants today
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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