Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
