i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
