girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize