After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
no you cant smoke seaweed
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
