Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose

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(208): View more from Idaho

this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this

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(914): View more from New York

you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?

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(360): View more from Washington

I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.

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(713): View more from Texas

Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit

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(516): View more from New York

Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?

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