no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
