We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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