my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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