I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
