but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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