Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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