Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
