I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
