so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
