I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
