My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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