God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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