If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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