My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
