this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
