I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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