I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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