CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
