the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
