I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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