Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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