Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
