Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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