a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
