last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
