I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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