I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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