i will never coherently bang her
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
