Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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