and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
