So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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