i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
