She's JV to your varsity
I have demons in me.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
