Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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