doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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