And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
