Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
