After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
NoShamevember. You game?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
