So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize