He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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