I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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