I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
