what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
