i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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