Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
