so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
