Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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