if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
