SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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