yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you will always have a special place in my vag
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
