i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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