what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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