My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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