We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
