we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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