her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Sorry my hands just texted you
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
