he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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