Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
