Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize