fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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