that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
no, he came in my armpit
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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