I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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