Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
