Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
