We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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