So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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